A letter I just sent

"lol, no worries... I've just blogged a bit too... I feel massively confused. That's possibly the best way to describe it. I just don't know anything anymore. I believe in nothing. I have been spun in a hundred circles, blindfolded, and thrown into a freezing pool and I just don't know what to do yet. I am disoriented.

At this point, I am still saying "F*** knowing things." It is what allows me to get through the days--being able to temporarily suspend confusion and let myself be carried away by the familiar.

I am glad you have forgiven me. I like having you as a friend. I am sorry that you feel rejected lately, but I understand more where you're coming from. It seems that things only become clearer when we learn where other people are coming from.

Yay happy?

Maybe. Maybe not.

?

Matt"

Yes, I still exist

This is pretty spontaneous. Whether or not it makes sense to anyone else is not important to me. It makes sense to me and right now, that's all I need.

This year, I am having growing pains.
Not physical ones, of course... I'm a few years past that.

Mentally, though, I've finally begun to truly think.
I'm handling some complicated life situations.
I've been given more responsibilities.
I see aspects of the world that I don't like, and that could be solved by people acting like better human beings.

I wish I could get other people to see things the way I do. On the other hand, maybe I should start trying to see things the way other people do--but then it wouldn't be me! (the saga shall continue, apparently).
I am not doing things as well as I should be.
But I strive on.

I thought this mnemonic for remembering the phyla in the animal kingdom was tremendously clever:
PCP, Narcotics, And Marijuana Are Excellent Choices
Porifera, Cnidaria, Platyhelminthes, Nematoda, Annelida, Mollusca, Arthropoda, Echinodermata, Chordata

Kudos to Larry!

This is a general update of me lately.

Last Saturday was the Modesto Invitational band review. We're in single A this year. We already broke our losing streak from last year! We took second out of five, second to Davis, with music and percussion captions to boot.

Yesterday in biology, we watched the cane toad movie. We were talking about it all day long, it was so funny.
Yesterday in English, we wrote an essay analyzing Virginia Woolf's use of language to do something, and I feel good about my writing for once.
Speaking of English, we've had about a month to read The Scarlet Letter and do this Brobdingnagian (I need to use that word or I'll forget it. Sorry that it's not the appropriate modifier) packet about it. I'm prepared! I'm finished the first 22 chapters--there are 24. Yet there are people who are on Chapter 5, and some further behind. Ah well. Maybe we're doomed to repeat our mistakes.

Yesterday evening, Erin and I had our first cooking experience. What an experience it was. Chili powder? Oops.

This morning I had the PSATs. What fun. The test seemed harder than last year but I think I did about the same, maybe a little better. There's one standardized test I don't ever have to worry about again, though.

Today in the mail I got my official DRIVER'S LICENSE card. And you know what the weirdest part about it all is? Not that it's still a little weird to drive by myself, or that I *can* drive by myself, but that I don't hate my picture. Wow.

Not much left to say except that next Saturday is the Sierra Cup Classic--Fresno State band review--which will be glorious. And next Sunday is Fever's banquet--I think. That will be an amazing weekend (oh, there's a home football game on Friday... I forgot about that).